don't save it for the holidays

Been thinking about happiness. Real talk, we have to allow ourselves to actually have it. That’s not a given. It’s something you learn how to do.

Letting your guard down. Believing you’re allowed to receive the good stuff you’ve been attracting. Because a lot of us are out here wanting more and then flinching when it actually shows up.

Here’s the thing though. Other people’s negativity about relationships, money, family, whatever, that’s their outlook. Not a law of the universe. You get to build your own.

But it takes intention. You have to actually decide. I’m going to be happy. I’m going to be successful. I’m going to nurture the relationships that matter. You can have all of it. But belief and work come first. Then you have to learn how to maintain it, because getting there and staying there are two different skills.

It really is a mental battle right now. Everything is competing for your attention. Social media, music, TV, podcasts, all of it. And a lot of what’s coming at you is ragebait, nihilism, straight up negativity dressed up as realism.

Don’t let it move in. Don’t let it have you walking around depressed, jaded, fearful, when you don’t have to be.

Made it official this week. The podcast and the website are both under my own name now, taliasdeberry.com. I sat on that domain for a while and kept avoiding using my actual name. But this is me. It’s my voice. One brand, one place, easier for you to find everything.

Also mid move right now. Still got a good amount to pack, but we officially move into the new place on the 18th. My birthday is on the 20th, so I’m recording a special episode that Sunday to celebrate.

My mom came over for dinner with my wife and me the other night. It was great. Family means everything to me.

My dad passed almost five years ago now. This October makes five years. He wasn’t always around. Typical single mom situation growing up. But I knew my dad. I’d see him from time to time. And honestly, I learned a lot of what not to do from him too. I love him and I miss him. All of it. The good times and the not so good times.

If he was here right now, I’d want to grab a Five Guys burger with him, get a slice of cake from this spot in the city called Nicky D’s Coney Island, and go fishing for a minute. Just chill by the water. That’s something I’ll never get to do again. But the memory is still there.

So if you’ve still got your parents, your cousins, your siblings, whoever you love, go see them. Invite them over. Go for a walk. Do something. Time moves faster than you think. Don’t save your time and love for the holidays.

Podcast: the David Senra show, the episode with Jason Fried. All about building something great on your own terms. Having your cake and eating it too, basically.

Song: Bloodhounds by Small Forward. There’s a line in it. How’d I get here is never quite clear, but one day my time will come, I’ll soon disappear. Heard that and started thinking about how wild it is that we just show up on this Earth, and the only thing we know for sure is that we won’t be here forever. Made me think we should just live. Try. Create. Love. Cry. Laugh. Just live.

Song: What Once Was by Her’s. Just listen to it. The lyrics are good, but that guitar is something else.

Song: Eu Vim da Bahia by Margareth Menezes. This is my morning music. I put it on while I water my plants or do some yoga. I listen to music in different languages a lot, partly to learn the language, partly just to enjoy it without needing to know exactly what’s being said. Try it. Trust me.

I’m a bookstore nerd. Vintage spots, random small family owned bookstores, all of it. Recently found a book I read as a kid, You’re Next by Gregg Hurwitz. Fiction. Bro. It’s unbelievable.

Growing up I was deep into spy movies and shows, mob and criminal family stuff too. Still am honestly. I don’t watch much TV these days, but when I do it’s the same rotation. Mob movies, spy movies and shows, nature documentaries about birds and the ocean. I always make time for a new spy or crime family show though. Mobland on Paramount+ is wild, season 2 drops September 18th. The Gentlemen, the movie and the Netflix series. Gangs of London. Peaky Blinders. Kingsman. Anything with Michael Douglas. The Thomas Crowne Affair and pretty much anything with Pierce Brosnan. I could keep going, lol.

But that book was formative for me. It taught me how to use my imagination while reading. My own little movie playing in my head, like I was actually in the story. I haven’t had time to reread it yet, but I’ve got some time off around Christmas and I’m going through the whole thing again.

I also make room for whatever wifey wants to watch. The occasional random Hallmark Christmas movie. She loves Twilight, so we watch the whole saga at least once a year. We’ve got our own list going too. All the Harry Potter films, then Lord of the Rings after that. Gotta keep it balanced. I can’t have her watching WW2 documentaries every night, or something on speed boats, or the full lore on fencing, duels, and samurai.

Still waiting to hear from a few of you on the small group call. Three spots open, first come first served. If you want in, just reply to this email or DM me on Instagram, whichever is easier for you. I’m excited to meet the people who show up for this.

Also been thinking about doing hoodies for fall and winter. Something simple, nothing loud. I don’t look at you as a fan base. You’re extended family, real supporters, normal people. If that sounds like something you’d want, let me know. I’m going to get samples made and post them before anything goes final. I want real feedback first, not just guessing what you’d like.

That’s what’s been on my mind. If you’ve got anything going on, a song, a book, a hobby, whatever, reply and tell me. I read everything. Tap in wherever’s easiest for you. Talk soon.